You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!