You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love dolls clothes

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.