If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.

As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.