If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.