If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.