I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.