The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.