The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.