You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up and went Oww! What was that for?, and she goes I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill. I said I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dreams, and we'll both be happy.