You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You might be a redneck if you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.