You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.