Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.

If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.