If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.