If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.

If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

Kids aren't suppose to have cancer, they're suppose to have a future.