You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.