You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.