You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

I'm an outdoor nut. If I'm not working, I'm on a tractor on my farm, hunting, fishing or climbing a mountain.