You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.