The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.