If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

You might be a redneck if there is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.