If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Because criminals know that when they see a house with 2 foot tall grass, a dog on a chain, and an engine hanging from a tree, a gun lives in that house. And if you want to know what kind, just break in at 2 in the morning.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.