If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you consider a good tan to be the back of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.

My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.

That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass.

You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

You might be a redneck if the biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.