It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

You might be a redneck if your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

I'm very lucky in that I've gotten to do a lot of things. But if you ever put a gun to my head and said, "You can only do one," I'd think it would be stand-up. I think it's the coolest job in the world.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.