It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.