As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.