As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.