You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.
You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
Some people like to keep their grass cut really short, so they can see the intruders coming. Keep those kill zones open. I say let the grass grow tall so they don't know there's a house behind it. Some call it lazy, I say it's thinking.