You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You might be a redneck if three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.