You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

You know that you are a teacher when you spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.