You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.