You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.