You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.