You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.