You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.