You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.
You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
If you don't have anything good to say about someone, you must be talking about Hillary Clinton.
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck