All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.