All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."