All these years I've sat in airports and kind of drawn people and put like Far Side captions on them.

You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

You might be a redneck if your grandfather completely executes the pull my finger trick at the family reunion.