I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

You might be a redneck if you won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.