I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

We really didn't have the option of being couch potatoes when I was growing up. There were only three television channels and the only kid's programming was on Saturday morning. We always played outside until we could hear Mom calling us (not by cell phone but with her hands cupped around her mouth) that it was dinner time.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."