If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

You might be a redneck if you own at least 20 baseball hats.