Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

We're a heart attack away from losing the right to bear arms.

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.