Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

You might be a redneck if you move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

There's no down time any more.

A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO. I told them, 'I'm just dating my sister and couldn't swear that it wasn't a weather balloon.'

You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.