You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.