You might be a redneck if you have started a petition to change the National Anthem to Georgia on My Mind.

You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here, ain't it! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna go take a nap now, all right?"

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.