Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.