I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love dolls clothes

You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

If someone at Fleet Farm offers you assistance and they don't work there you might live in Wisconsin.

I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

You might be a redneck if your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!