I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.