I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

I think with a comedian, when you get to the point of a greatest hits, it's kind of an acknowledgment that you've been doing stand-up a long time, which not very many people do.

You might be a redneck if your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.