I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.