If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.