I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck