Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.

Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios. Rednecks invest their money in commemorative plates.

To me, the media in New York and LA have always missed the essence of this country.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

You find out that all this stuff you've accumulated, you could care less about it. It's just the relationships that matter.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.