You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!