You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.