You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

Comics don't usually have very long careers, and I'm 22 years into this.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.