You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.