You might be a redneck if your bumper sticker says, My other car is a combine.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.

You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.