You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.