Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

I really don't require a whole lot in life.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.