Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

I think for one thing, kids are a lot smarter now then we ever were.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.