Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

If the veins in the back of your legs look like the street map of greater Pittsburgh, you ain't nobody's babydoll.

You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.