You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Any job that posts a price list for your body parts is a bad job.

You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.