You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.

If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck