You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

You might be a redneck if people hear your car long before they see it.

I'll just have itchy, watery eyes!

You might be a redneck if someone tells you you have something in your teeth, and you take them out to see what it is.

You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.