You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.