You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

You might be a redneck if somebody hollers ho-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.

There's no down time any more.

You might be a redneck if your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.

You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.