I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.
Jeff FoxworthyYou break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
Jeff Foxworthy[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.
Jeff FoxworthyYou just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
Jeff FoxworthyI just love people. I love this country. I am the American dream. I grew up by the airport with a dirt yard. Never in my life should I have been a success. So that's what I love about this country [USA], is you get out there and you have the opportunity and you work hard at it, and you can be a success.
Jeff Foxworthy