Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

People should see your faith. If all you do is talk about your faith and people don't see it, but they ought to see it in the way you treat your family, you treat your friends, you treat your community.

You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?