I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

In my life, I have driven some crappy vehicles. But I have never been so desperate for a vehicle that I wanted a used rental car.

Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.