I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.

Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when you do, they can go for a long, long time. Whereas men are like... bottle rockets.

Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.

Country music is about new love and it's about old love.

There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy.