People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.

I'm two decisions away from putting up drywall for a living. I am, and there's nothing wrong with that, but whatever I got, it's through the grace of God, and I've got to use it right.

You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.

You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.