The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.
People are like, Hey, Jeff, lemme tell you... I'm like, Hold on, let me get a pen and a piece of paper.
You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right