You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if you've ever hauled a can of paint to the top of a water tower to defend your sister's honor.

You might be a redneck if you are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

You might be a redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.