You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

Every generation thinks they invented sex, which is the stupidest assumption in the world because if that was the case, you wouldn't even be here.

You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.