You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.

You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

Children that play outside develop better problem solving skills and have a stronger ability to work within a group.

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.