If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.