If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.