If your stomach blocks your view of your feet, cover it up! The only people who should be wearing belly shirts are people who don't have bellies. Now those little baby spare tires are kinda cute; tractor tires aren't! Especially if they've got hair on them!

You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

You might be a redneck if you think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

The only negative about doing stand-up is that you're on the road by yourself. When you're on the road with comics we just crack each other up every night going, "Can you believe they're paying us to do this? They're crazy.

As a comedian I appreciate every kind of comedy. You decide for yourself what you're going to do.