You might be a redneck if in an effort to watch your cholesterol, you eat Spam Lite.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

I've got keys to crap I've never owned. You put all my keys together I could be a high school janitor tonight.

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

I hope someday we can stamp out illiteracy in America. Of course you'll have to kill alot of my relatives to do it.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.