You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
You might be a redneck if you work with a shirt off... and so does your husband.
If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.