I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

I wish I could relate to the people I'm related to.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.