I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.