You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.
When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.