You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.

Thank God I'm at that point in my career where I don't have to take stuff that I don't really want to do.