You might be a redneck if you refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the day my ship came in.

You might be a redneck if your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

You might be a redneck if you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.