You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

I talked to Larry the Cable Guy the other day. Larry's made more money than 10 people should ever make in a lifetime. He was excited because he'd gone over to the livestock auction and bought 20 new feeder pigs.

You might be a redneck if there are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard.

You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

You might be a redneck if you're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.