You might be a redneck if you think Silence of the Lambs is what happens when Larry walks out to the barn.

Redneck is: the glorious absence of sophistication

If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.