The thing about that singles apartment is you never had to clean it up... until the day you got the security deposit back. You're arguing with the landlord... 'No sir, the back door was missing when we moved in here! The pizzas were always on the ceiling!'

You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.

You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

You might be a redneck if your birth announcement included the word rug rat.

You might be a redneck if more than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

It's sad when you see somebody that talented that passes away and doesn't have to.