If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.

When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.

You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.

I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."